Thursday, May 25, 2006
I was 5 years old when my grandfather died. Even in such a young age, I already know the meaning of death. Now that I'm 21, my Dad would always tell me that when my grandpa died, I asked my mom "Bakit namatay si lolo?". My mom answered "Kasi matanda na sya." I cried and told her "Ayoko nang tumanda." Now, I'm old enough to understand everything but I'm still afraid. There are times that I give up and say, "Just take me, okay!" but after a few hours, I regret saying those things. There are so many things in life that I still want to experience. There are so many places that I want to go to, so many people that I want to meet, so many things: dreams and ambitions that I want to achieve. I know that I will not always succeed but there's nothing wrong in trying and finding a way to correct my mistakes. The only problem is TIME... and ME. I don't know how long I'll get to live to accomplish all of these. Someone told me "Be ambitious, don't be contented of what you have now." Two people have told me lots of times "Girl, grasp the opportunity! Don't let it get away." I've heard so many good advices that I've put into waste. I don't know if it's cowardice or just plain ignorance. Maybe it's because I'm too vulnerable, too naive, or too scared to take a step forward. This is the main reason why I don't want to grow old; I'm not sure if I'm matured enough to do grown-up stuff, I'm afraid of the real world. Though it bothers me, I'm learning. This adult stuff is like an extension of school, only I don't have to worry about getting good grades. Maybe it's not so bad afterall.
8:27 PM
