Tuesday, July 11, 2006
I'm tired.
I want to sleep but I can't... I shouldn't...
Not until I finish my illustrations.
I have a very weird body clock.
I'm naturally a nocturnal. Perpetually insomniac. No matter how I try, (even if I try to sleep before 11pm but I still end up sleeping at 2am) I'll still wake up at 7:30am. Nyah?!
I'm trying not to eat sweets before sleeping as much as possible. Sugar only makes me hyper. And I've also stopped drinking coffee.
I guess it'll stay this way for a long time. I got used to staying up late because that's the only time that I can think clearly... ideas just start to flood my brain. People say that it's very common in artists coz it's usually during night time when the creative juices start to flow.
hay hay hay...
I painted again, and it felt so good.
I love how the paint slowly flowed and formed patterns.
I love how the pigments lightly stained the crisp white paper.
I love how it made me forget about things.
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it sucks when you are made to believe that there is a chance coz that's when you get to hold onto the false hope that something good will come your way. I've often wondered why people choose to look on the brighter side of life. Happy endings only happen in movies, even the fairy tales that we have loved as kids are altered. If I were to choose between being optimistic and pessimistic, I'd choose the latter coz you're preparing yourself for the worst... the good things that you get will just come as a sweet surprise. That's better than having a bitter surprise slapping your face. It will hurt more when you least expect it. The reality that we are living in is very colorful but sugar-coated to mask the lies that we are afraid to see.
just another day...
12:49 AM
