Friday, December 22, 2006
the time has finally come when i can't think of anything to write in my blog. i have so many ideas- they're all rushing to my head but i just can't seem to express them. i feel that my heart is breaking. i can't find the right words but i can imagine it in my head. i can only draw. it has been a week that i want to cry but my mind has become so numb and tears won't come out of my eyes. i remember my dreams when i wake up. everything has become so vivid, unlike before when i couldn't even recall a single dream. they say that the objects that you see in your dream represent something... something that has a connection with your past, present and future.
Umbrella
To see an umbrella in your dream, suggests that you are putting up a shield against your emotions and trying to avoid dealing with them. It is also symbolic of emotional security. If the umbrella is leaking, then it indicates that you are unprepared in facing your problems. To dream that you cannot open you umbrella and it is raining, then it suggests that you are open to confronting your own feelings and letting your emotions come to the surface.
just another day...
9:57 AM
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
I used to be a big fan of birthdays,,, everything changed after two decades of glorious years. when i was a kid, i always have a party. i received lots of gifts from relatives, ninong, ninang, friends, classmates, and my mom & dad. the huge goldilock's rectangular chocolate cake became a tradition, complete with the written message "happy birthday owel, from mama & papa". december for me is a triple celebration coz my mom would buy me 3 new outfits- for my birthday, christmas and new year. even during my ate's birthday, my mom would still give me a gift, the one that's memorable is the barbie pool party set. ahh.. those were the days.
most girls have a grand celebration on their 18th birthday. it's the 'coming-out' party. well, i didn't have mine. we just had a quiet family dinner but i guess it's okay. on my 20th birthday, my perception changed: birthday is not something that i anticipate- it's something that i dread. why the change of mind, you ask? i don't know. maybe it's because of the nagging question on my head that says "what have i done in the 22 years of my existence?". honestly, not much. my mind has matured in some ways but i'm still a little naive or as clueless as when i was a little girl. being exposed to the real world after college graduation gave me a few fears- that i'll be joining a rat race and i'll be lagging behind. and oh, i forgot to mention that it's my birthday today. my dad texted me 'you're a big girl now!'. i received a lot of text message, email and personal greetings from friends and colleagues. THANK YOU, it means A LOT to me.
okaaay.... soooo not the dramaaa... just the sweet choco donut and it's happy-hormones-inducing ingredients kicking in. reverse effect, huh? well anyway, just like what i always say, i'm not in a hurry. right now, i'll just savor my youth before it fades away.
happy birthday to me. yeah! :D
just another day...
8:06 PM
