been feeling depressed again these past few days. i'm sad because i've been lagging behind these over the months. i feel so rusty. i hate it that i'm not doing anything to help myself. i'm scared of trying.

i'm scared of changes. everyday i try to keep myself busy -- try to obsess on little things just to divert my thoughts. it's hard to control my feelings, it's hard to control my tears from falling. it's gets so tiring that i just find myself sobbing on my pillow before i go to sleep or stare blankly outside the bus window on the way home.

i'm not being emo. i am depressed. is there a difference? i don't even know if i'm making any sense - i'm complicated that way.

so if you ask me now that question about the glass... i'll tell you it is empty.